Dear Ahmed
You are a very polite, well mannered man, who, if you don’t mind my saying, is a credit to his parents. It is however, with a hint of remorse, that I feel I have to be just ever so slightly critical of your decision to phone me this morning. Proud though I am, to be seen as such an important cog in the wheel of your Loft Insulation empire, I was surprised to find out that my telephone conversations with the lovely Chris yesterday had been subject to so much scrutiny. You were able to confirm to me, with a clarity and accuracy that took my breath away, exactly every syllable of every word I uttered. I was, and remain, impressed that my words exacted such inspiration in you, Chris, and your as yet unnamed manager, who was listening in to today’s conversation. I shall of course heed your advice, and I will try my hardest to refrain from using profanity, especially as it seems to have upset Chris to the extent, that I understand our relationship might be on the rocks. I can only seek solace in the fact that you have chosen not to take action on Chris, as he suffered such gross provocation from little old foul mouthed me. I will happily accede to your request that I try to think of the person’s feelings whilst carrying out their very important Insulation based tasks. I am rightly proud to have had the chance to talk to you all, when you have such important work to do. I also humbly apologise, for once again, accidently, and only slightly, using the vagina word again. It just slipped out when I felt that you were not quite clear as to the fact that I didn’t really want Loft insulation, and that despite your best efforts, it was a bit of a gamble to think I may have changed my mind within a week. However, should your boss wish to call me tomorrow once you have studied the tapes, I will be only too happy to compare him to various anatomical parts, of his choice if you like, I am, after all, your servant.
With love and Kisses
Mr Plug xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment